Hollywood Comes to Dawley

I SID THAT SIGN ON THE PODDUCK
I AST OWD NACKY WOT DOES IT MEAN
E SED OLL YWOOD'S MOVIN TO DAWLEY
THE NEW WUM TO THE SILVER SCREEN

I'VE BIN SHOWED A LETTER
BY A COUNCULOR FROM UP LAWLEY BONK
E SED IT AD CUM FRUM AMERICA
SIGNED BY SUMWUN CALLED J. ARTHER RONK

THE MOGULS UM LEAVIN THE U. S. A
CUZ THE DOLLERS WUTH MORE TO THE POUND
THEY'M MOVIN LOCK, STOCK UN BARREL
UN SETTIN UP WUM ON THE OWD PODDUCK MOUND

DIDST EAR UV THAT WENCH FRUM ACKADUCK
WHO FAINTED AWAY IN THE STREET
THEY SEN IT'S BECUZ ER SID BRAD PITT
UN AD NUTHIN TO DO WITH THE HEAT

THEY'M DOIN A REMEK UV SWAN LAKE
CALLIN IT THE BALLET UV THE COOT POOL
SET ON THE DANDY UN WIDE WEARTER
UN STARRIN THAT PETER O'TOOLE

NIGHTMARE ON ROT AVENUE'S THE NEXT UN
SO SCARY THEE COSNA SLEEP
MED ON LOCATON DOWN DARK LANE
WITH GEORGE CLOONEY UN MERYL STREEP

THEN THURS A MUSICAL EXTRAVAGANZA
FEATURIN THE GREAT DORIS DAY
SINGIN LUV SUNGS IN THE MOONLIGHT
DOWN BY BOTANY BAY

DUNNA TELL ANYWUN WOT I'VE TOWD THEE
IT'S TOP SECRET OWD NACKY SED
THEE CUS TRUST ME I SOLUMLY TOWD HIM
CROSS ME ART UN DROP DOWN JED

SO IF THEE SIST GOOINS ON IN SALOP
UN THAT SIGN ON THE PODDUCK YO SEE
YO'LL KNOW OLLYWOODS CUM TO DAWLEY
UN YO EARD IT FUST FRUM ME

BY RAY NICKLESS